tomorrow

i have -thoughts- and i don't feel like unloading them all on one person so i'm just going to put them on the internet!! *choir of yays* etc

so i've been living with my mother since uh july and been at mom's new "house" since she moved in and i haven't gone back to dad's house to spend the night but i went there like twice to get books and clothes and personal things that i really wanted with me ie my guitar. but my dad apparently misses us now too much also his mom is down here on vacation and he probably wants to show that he has some control over our living arrangements so he's like "COME HANG OUT WITH ME SPEND THE NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT KTHXBAI" and i'm like "ahhhh" and so i guess we are. and he has like a roommate sleeping in my old room so idk about most of my stuff that i want and miss (books and posters and letters) and so i'm worried about my stuff and i'm really worried about the state of the house b/c i don't wanna see it a huge mess which is how i'm sure it looks and i'm worried about the food and the laundry and my clothes and the trash and how my dad is in general and yeah it's just general WORRIMENT but yeah it's my old house and i left it and i have to go back and sleep there and there's no internet or tv service but i'll have my old desktop so i'm gonna try and get a lot of files to this computer aka music and probably word docs okay
LOOK AT ME WORRYING I AM WORRYING SO MUCH AHH WORRY WORRY WORRY

~starr out~

Sitcoms.

Hi.
Hi, I'm blogging. I just have things I need/want to say. INTERNET I KNOW YOU WANT TO KNOW ALL ABOUT MY LIFE. I KNOW.

Uh, so when I was growing up, as soon as I got home and ate dinner, I would go into my room and watch tv. That's all I would ever do was watch TV. Especially like "past nine o' clock my bedtime" when like Roseanne and Fresh Prince and Full House and the Cosby Show came on. I swear, I have seen every single episode of all three of those television shows. Twice.
So like, they were my family, I guess. Except they were on the television, and I was in a dark bedroom all alone with a can of soda I snuck into my room.
Yeah!! So I always loved big families!! I love them!! And those families would DO THINGS together and they would RELY on each other and I've always wanted that.
Like, horribly so. All of those shows had sisters and I never had a sister or a best friend that was like a sister or anything. After school I never spoke to anyone. I never went to sleep overs or anything dumb like that. But I always really wanted those kind of sisterly things like hair and make overs and fashion advice. But I never had that!! I never did. I had two brothers. Which is why I'm severely boy-ish. And kissing and boy friends and hair and jeans that are too tight and revealing shirts were lost to me. I had to go into that unknown territory with nothing more than what television taught me. Which is cool, I mean. Old sitcoms like those were my books, no matter how horrible that sounds. They helped me to be in a situation I wasn't, and to get advice and learn things that I couldn't have learned on my own.

YEAH COOL IF YOU'VE READ THAT WHOLE BLOG I THINK YOU'RE COOL AND AWESOME.