I ALSO have not read this one.
IN-YOUR-ENDO
A DUMBLUPINDIGGORYBTTOM FANFIC WITH SPECIAL APPERANCE BY DARREN CRISS
WHOA #WHATTHEPUFF.
OMG HAI!
HAI! YOUR FACE IS A N00B. haha.
THE SEXTASTIC AND #MANLY STORY:
BY @MAUREENJOHNSON AND @FAKEJOHNGREEN OF COURSE. (especially the @) (BECAUSE @REALJOHNGREEN IS BUSY SIGNING PARTY BLOWERS) I AM @REALJOHNGREEN. I CAN PROVE IT BY IMAGINING THIS STORY COMPLEXLY.
ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS AN AWESOMELY GIFTED DOG NAMED COOL PLANET THAT IS NOT DWARF SPARKY. HE LIKED TO WALK ON THE BEACH DURING #MANLY HOURS, AND HIS OWNER WAS A MUSCLY #MAN. ONE DAY, WHILE SEXILY FROLICKING IN A HOT WAY ALONG THE BEACH, HE SPOTTED MOOCHKA! OH NOEZ! MOOCHKA WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF A #MANLY CONFERANCE WITH ANOTHER VICIOUSLY TASTY CREATURE CALLED A JIGGLY. JOHN'S PUFF WAS TALL. (TWSS) THE JIGGLYPUFF HAD OODLEZ OF MAAAAGICAL POWERZZZ.. LIKE TALKING LIONS DO WHEN THEY APPEAR ON TV. SHE PUT THOSE 'POWERS' TO FOOD USE.. (MATING WITH HARRY POTTER).
THE JIGGLYPUFF HUMPED THE #MANLY DOG AND THEN FROLICKED INTO A DISTANT WONDERLAND. FOR FEAR OF BEING DRAPED LIKE A CURTAIN (which as we all know, is how SIRIUS (BUNNIEZ) was eaten BY SHARKS WITH PANDA FEET), MOOCHKA TOOK THIS CHANCE TO FLAMBOYANTLY PRANCE OUT OF THE CLOSET FOR A STRIP TEASE. MOOCHKA, BEING AN EXTREMELY SEXY CREATURE, SAUNTERED OVER TO COOL PLANT THAT IS NOT A DWARF PARK, AND BURROWED SEXILY, "I RAPED SOME NOMS" COOL PLANET THAT IS SO A DWARF BARK WAS RAPED TO HIS FRILLY BEETLE COREEEE BY SUCH A HAPPY AND HOT STATEMENT.
AND THEN, OUT OF THE CLOSET CAME DUMBLEDORE, WEARING A VERY, MERRY LARGE GIFT IN HIS PANTS ;) CREEPY WINK. MOOCHKA RAN FURIOUSLY TOWARD HIM, STICKING HIS LONG, BUSHY TAIL RIGHT INBETWEEN DUMBLEDORE'S BARE LEGS...WHEN ZEFRON WALKED IN DUBMBLEDORE QUICKLY PULLED OFF HIS OFFICIAL TWATLIGHT CULLEN CULT (YUM) SHIT AND PRETENDED TO BE COOL WITH IT. BECAUSE, AS WE ALL KNOW, HARRY POTTER LOVED ZEFRON THE MOST BEFORE ZEFRON'S TRAGIC ACCIDENT AND PASSING AWAY DUE TO BEING NAILED TOO MANY TIMES BY THE #MANLY BAGUETTE OF GOD "JONAS" ESTHER - HOT!.
HE THEN PUT TOGETHER A LONG CHORE LIST OF POOP TIMES, ALL IN POOP-TWO-GEESE. ZEFRON WAS TURNED ON BY THE CHORES HE WAS SUPPOSED TO DO IN THE BUTT, BUT DID THEM IN THE PANTS ANYWAY, BECAUSE HE WAS DUMBLEDORE'S HUFFLEPUFF SLAVE BY UNBREAKALBE LOVIN' RULES. DUMBLEDORE THEN EXCLAIMED, "I WANNA TAKE YOU TO A GAAAY BAR CALLED PIGFARTS ON MARS" IN A YOUTUBE COMMENT. HOOAAAAAAAAAAAH... FOR BEING A RAY... OF MOONSHINE!"
MOOCHKA, RATHER CONFUSED, SHOUTED, "HOLD ME DOWN BEFORE IT EXPLODES IN YOUR FACE!" (TWSS!) DUMBLEDORE WAS OLD, WISE AND EXPERIENCED. REMUS LUPIN THEN BURST INTO THE ROOM, SCANTILY CLAD IN BUBBLEWRAP AND AN INNERTUBE. RIGHT THEN, DUMBLEDORE PEED. REMUS. THIS MAN-WOLF-RAWR WAS THE ONE FOR HIM.
DUMBLEDORE PROCLAIMED DRUNKENLY, WITH NO CLOTHES ON (POTTER PUPPET PALS STYLE), "HEY REMUS YOU'RE SO FINE, YOU'RE SO FINE YOU BLOW MY MIND (OH NO), HEY REMUS. HEY HEY. HEY REMUS. "
REMUS LOOKED AT HIM AND FARTED BUT REALLY SNEEZED. THEN HE SAID "YOU'RE SO FINE YOUALSDKJFLKAJ DAMN. " <-- HOT. "TAKE ME RIGHT HERE ON QUEEN RANAVALONA THE FIRST'S DESK!" THEN THEY GO BACK TO BACK AND BANG WHILE CONTEMPLATING THEIR NEXT DATE, ROLLERBLADING AND WATCHING SHE'S ALL THAT WITH RYAN SEACREST AND PRINCE CHARMING.
JUST THEN, CEDRIC STUPIDLY, A HORNY STUDENT FROM THE LAMEST EFFING HOUSE EVARRR, CAME INTO THE ROOM WITH NEVILLE SCHLONGBOTTOM, TOTALLY AWARE THAT IT WAS ALREADY OCCUPIED. CEDRIC BLUSHED MORE THAN HE HAD WHEN PROFESSOR SPROUT CONTEMPLATED HIS EARMUFFS AND SAID "I SAY WE *INTERUPTED* YOU IN A RATHER #MANLY SITUATION- NOW WE JOIN?" :O "FANFICTION TIME! FOURSIES?" DUMBLEDORE SUGGESTED WITH A ROUGISH WINK. LUPIN THEN SAW THE PRESENT DUMBLEDORE HAD BEEN RIDING IN HIS PANTS AND TRANSFORMED INTO A MERMAID! "NOT A PROBLEM," SAID CEDRIC. SCHLONGBOTTOM AND CEDRIC THEN TRANSFIGURED INTO MOOCHKA AND COOL PLANET THAT IS NOT DWARF SPARKY THE DOG.
JUST THEN, DARREN USED HER FRAK LOAD OF MAGICAL SKILLZ AND APPARATED TO RAPE HEDWIG IN HER SAUCY VOICE ACCOMPLISHED WITH THE HELP OF DARREN CRISS, A UNICORN, AND A MOTOR. "I'M ON A BOAT," SQUEALED SCHLONGBOTTOM EXCITEDLY. "THERE AIN'T NO PARTY LIKE MY NANA'S STRIP TEASE PARTY" JOE WALKER GROWLED IN HIS VOLDEMORT VOICE AS HE FLOO POWDER POWERED TO THE #MANLY VICINITY. HE SIMPLY FARTED OUT OF HIS TURBAN TO ANNOUNCE HIS PRESENCE TO THEM ALL! LITTLE DID THEY ALL KNOW VOLDY BROUGHT HIS RAPE SHOES WITH HIM AND INTENDED TO HAVE A RAPE BATTLE BEFORE PWNING THEM ALL BECAUSE WROCK STARS HAVE THE HARDEST ****. AND MAKE FOR THE BEST RIDE FOURTH FANTASY (WE ALL POOP IN YOUR MOM'S PANTIES).
DUMBLEDORE BEGAN TO "USE" THE RESTROOM RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM ALL WHILE READING #MANLY KNITTING PATTERNS. CEDRIC EXERCISED HIMSLF TO GET SOME MOMS, MOOCHKA AND COOL PLANET THAT IS NOT DWARF SPARKY THE DOG DROOLING AT HIS ANKLES, AND REMUS AND SCHLONGBOTTOM WERE LEFT ALONE TO PLAY.
REMUS LOOKED AROUND AND ASKED IF SCHLONGBOTTOM WANTED TO "PLAY" SOME "WIZARD" "CHESS". "HELLZ YEAHH!" SAID SCHLONG"BOTTOM", READY TO "BEAT" REMUS'S BACKSIDE HARD, REAL HARD BECAUSE HE HAD BEEN WAITING TO DO SO ALL THE LIVE LONG DAY.
JUST AS THEY WERE GETTING REALLY INTO IT (THE "CHESS"), DUMBLEDORE ANNOUNCED HIS PRESENCE, AGAIN, THAT'S HOW HE ROLLS, WITH A SNOG. HE FELT UP LUPIN'S "CHEEK" AND TOLD HIM HE HAD NICE "SKIN" BEFORE ASKING HIM TO RIDE HIM IN THE "PLAYGROUND". "I'M MAGICAL!" DUMBLEDORE EXCLAIMED. "LIKE THE ENGERIZER SIRIUS BUNNY I JUST KEEP GOING AND GOING AND GOING!"
LIKE A LITTLE GUINEA PIG GONNA TAKE YOU UP TO WINNIPEG (THAT'S IN YOUR PANTS) AT THIS POINT, DARREN AND DARREN RETURNED FROM "FANGIRLING" EACH OTHER. (AS IN THEY JOINED IN ON THE "FUN" THAT DEFINITELY ISN'T DIRTY IN ANY WAY.) THEY WERE HAVING SUPER-MEGA-FOXY-AWESOME-HOT-SEXY-FUN-TIME IN EACH OTHER'S GRANDMOTHER'S PANTIES. IT'S A EUPHEMISM FOR IN-YOUR-ENDO.
FILCH PRANCED IN, NAKEDLY RIDING PEEVES, AND SPOTTED THE SEXY FUN. "DID SOMEONE SAY "NAKEY TIME"?!" FILCH GIGGLED, LICKING DUMBLEDORE'S MOM'S LIPS.
THEN THEY "ATE" SOME "DINNER" AFTER HOURS OF NAKED "WIZARD" "CHESS." AND "ADMIRING" EACH OTHER'S "SKIN" IN THEIR GRANDMOTHER'S PANTIES. DUMBLEDORE SIMPLY FARTED IN GRINDELWALD'S MOUTH. "YUMMY, WHAT WAS THAT?" GRINDEWALD ASKED, WONDERING WHERE THE LEMON-DROP-FLAVORED SUBSTANCE "CAME" FROM. "I WAS SLEEPING AND WET DREAMING ABOUT EATING YOUR "MARSHMALLOWS" WHEN SUDDENLY I TASTED SOMETHING DELICIOUS THAT REMINDED ME OF - WAIT, IT CAN'T BE!" HE RUBBED HIS EYES AND BLINKED TWICE. "DUMBLEDORE! AT LONG LAST! WE HAVE REUNITED! MAY I "TIE YOUR SHOE"?""
@MAUREENJOHNSON LICKED HER LAPTOP, TURNED ON BY HER LATEST UPDATE TO HER NEW BOOK, "IN-YOUR-ENDO".
DOLPHINS ARE PORTKEYS.
FOOTBALLS ARE TOO (AMERICAN OR BRITISH?)
SCARF OF SEXUAL PREFERENCE WILL BE MARRYING THE SORTING HAT
WHERE: PIGFARTS IS ON MARS
WHEN: JULY 30, 2009
RSVP TO DUMBLEDORE ASAP
BRING BROWNIES
Isn't this FOUND illegal in some places? ILLEGAL? IMPERSONATIOB. I AM REAL FAKE JOHN "JONAS" GREEN oh I forgot where i was going with this. OH YEAH AND I CAN SPAZ 'CAUSE I'M A GUPPY SIZED ELEPHANT ANT.
I bet if we read this again we'll facepalm.
Man, this would make a great blog post.
Please post it. Without names. GOT IT JOHN?
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Etherpad. Same old story.
I actually haven't read or written any of this. So don't blame me.
ESTHERPAD
SEXDUCKS: A HISTORY
HI #MANLY MEN WHO LIKE TO SEX ME UP. CALL ME *WINK* (ME AS IN ORGY :P)
HEY SEXYONE
HAY HAY IS FOR HORSES LOLYYY.
EVERYTHING IS IN BLACK OR WHITE. CHOOSE. LIKE MICHAEL JACKSON HAD TO. (TOO SOON?) TOO SOON!
WHAT *GRABS HER SISTER'S CROTCH* THE HELL IS THIS? YOU EXPECT ME TO FLING ABOUT HER I DON'T CARE ABOUT HER! I'TS JUST A LITTLE SEX DRACO WAKE UP I'M BACON (HARRY POTTER'S FAVOURITE BEDOODOO) SHE IS THE HOTTEST GIRL I'VE EVER SEXED. HAHAHAHA. YEEES. GO GRAB THE CROTCH AGAIN!
HI. SEX ME UP DOWN AND ALL AROUND RIGHT NOW
YOU SPIN ME RIGHT ROUND BABY RIGHT ROUND WHEN YOU GO DOWN
YOU WANTED CAPS? SAY IT LOUDER.
HOW DO I SEX? YOU DON'T. FUCK
WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN
I'M CERTAIN JOHN GREEN HAS A SEX GOD OF A BROTHER TOO. I'LL IMAGINE YOUR MOM'S THINGS WITH COMPLEXITY IN YOUR PANTS. ALL NAPTIME LONG.
OMG WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SEXING? UR MUM IN MY PANTS.
69
HEY IT NEVER HAS TO BE IN MY PANTS YEAH.
OH YEAH, THE ONE FOOL IS SEX HAS TO BE IN MAH BELLY
I FORGOT HOW TO BE IN YOUR MOM'S PANTS.
TALK IN CAPS PEOPLE. NO UNCAPS. THOSE ARE #UNMANLY AND#TWILIGHTLY
I WILL TALK HOW I T
HOW DO YOU FEEL UP MOMS? WE COVET IT. WE GLOMP IT. A HELL YES AND SEXDUCKS IT UP
...SEX FOR WORDS. GIVE ME YOUR TWINKIE AND I GIVE YOU SEX. BUT YOU SHOULD ACCIO OREO DOUBLE STUFF PROSTITUTE. THEY'RE BETTER. I WILL SEX YOUR COOKIE BODY.
I'LL TITPIC UP THE "BUTTON" THAT YOU "UNBUTTONED" (MAH PANTS!) CAUSE YOU'RE HORNY IN A #MANLY WAY LIKE THAT TIME JOHN GREEN UNBUTTONED A BUTTON. WOAH. AND SAID DIRTY THINGS. BEST. POE BUST. EVER.
JOHN GREEN SHOULD UNBUTTON HIS PLANTS WHILE I BITE YOURS OFF NEXT. TOUCHATOUCHATOUCH ME!
SHE WANTS TO TOUCH ME, WHOAAA, SHE WANTS TO LOVE ME, WHOAAA, SHE'LL NEVER LEAVE ME, WHOAAA, WHOAAAAAAAA
DON'T TRUST A MONKEY WITH PANTS
I "CALLED" HIM ON THE "PHONE" AND HE SEXED HIMSELF.
I AM SEXDUCKS. QUACK. DON'T QUACK ON ME?
WOW. THIS IS GETTING VERY SEXDUCKSUAL IN YOUR SEXDUCKS. BUT I GUESS THAT MAKES NO SENSE SINCE WE ALL HAVE THE SEXDUCKS IN THE CROTCH.
NERDFIGHTERS ARE THE SEXIEST BREASTS IN MY PANTS. DECREASING WORLD SUCK BY INCREASING WORLD SEX!!!11! ONE PORNBOT AT A TIME!
JOHN GREEN IS A SEX DEMON. FACT. 20Q PAYS SO MUCH TO KNOW THIS! OR IT SHOULD! CUZ 20Q KNOWS WHERE YOU SLEEP!
YES IT'S "THE FIRE TRUCK" THAT I ONCE "HOT DOGGED" UR MUM AS THE KIND OF SEX WITH DUCKS, YES I'VE BEEN BUNNY AND I'VE BEEN SEXED AND THROUGH IT ALL, YES I HAVE SLEPT WITH THAT IT IS NOT WHETHER OR NOT YOU GET BUNGEE BUT HOW SLOW THE ICE CREAM GETS TURNED
BUT MY FIENDS, I'VE FOUND AN ANIMAL WHO DOESN'T FEEL THIS ARKA PAIN, AND MY LIFE IS SO MUCH BETTER NOW THAT I CAN FEEL ARKA UP THE SAME
^^
WTFFFFFFFF (<- THIS MUST BE PAARDVARKA) (LULS, WIN)
FORTYTWO
BLOODY SEX, GUYS. NOW I'LL NEVER SLEEP WITH YOUR MOM NOW SHE'S IMPREGNATED WITH SEXDUCKS IN HER PANTS.
BRAINZ, BRAINZ, THE MUSCULAR FRUIT. THE MORE YOU SEX THE MORE YOU BOOT. THE MORE YOU DROOL, THE BETTER YOU PEEL TOMATOES. LET'S HAVE BRAINZ FOR EVERY MEAL. BUT NOT EYES. NO NOMING THE EYES.
I DON'T THINK YOU SEX WHAT YOU THINK YOU SEXDUCKS BABY, BUT BABY DOUGHNUT YOU THINK THAT I JALAPEÑO (TILDE FTW) TILDE WTF? YOUR MANLINESS WHAT I KNOW MAYBE BABE. I DON'T THINK, YOU KNOW? WHAT DO YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW? I KNOW SEX I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW POOP IN THE BASKETBALL HOOP.
SO ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS THIS SEXDUCK WHO ALWAYS FELT LEFT OUT.. IT WAS A SEXY SEXDUCK. ONE DAY HESHEIT WOBBLED OUTSIDE, BUT IT STARTED BRAINING!
BRAINCEST, THE BEST KIND OF CEST. ALL WE WANT TO DO IS "EAT" YOUR BRAINS.
DID SOMEONE SEX DRACO MILFOY? (I DID!) *ROLLS ON FLOOR LIKE DRACO* PICK THEM UP! WE DON'T WASTE A BONER. (SERIOUSLY, I SAW THAT ON TFLN) SIRIUSLY?????
ANYWAY, THIS DUCK WAS SEXING ALONG, IN THE BRAIN, HIS FEATHERS GETTING ALL BUBBLEGUMMY, WHEN HE SAW, OUT OF THE CORNER OF HIS EYE, A SEX CHICKEN RIDING ON A BOAT, A MOTHEREFFING BOAT. THE DUCK PANICKED A LITTLE, BECAUSE, YOU SEE, HE WAS SCARED OF CHICKENSEX. AND THIS PARTICULAR CHICKEN HAD A #DUCKY DUCKSEXING NECKBEARD
HANK GREEN HAS THE SEXDUCKSIEST DUCKSEX AND LIKES TO PLAY SEX AND DUNGEONS WITH SEXY NERD BEARDS ALL THE SEXYTIME! TWSS
ALL MY POKEMON BRING ALL THE NERDS TO THE YARD, AND THEY'RE LIKE, YOU WANNA TRADE SEXUALMALLARDS, DAMN RIGHT, I WANNA TRADE SEXUALMALLARDS, I WILL TRADE YOU, BUT NOT MY CHARZARD (SO IT RHYMES). MAYBE MY BEST FRIEND MORGAN JOHNSON WILL LEND YOU HER "NOMSTERS". AND BY NOMSTERS I SEX PILLOWS. AND THE CARDS, WE'LL TOSS THEM AWAY IN FLAVOR OF SEXDUCKS.
THROW IN THAT PACK OF BAGEL TIGERS AND YOU GOT YOURSELF A HOWIE MAN-DEAL. I'M BALD
WHEN I'M ALONE I "QUOTE MYSELF". SLOWLY, SLOWLY, SLOWLY GETTING FASTER, IT IS SO EXCITING! I JUST CAN'T HIDE IT. I'M ABOUT TO LOSE SEXDUCKS AND I THINK I LIKE IT.
I LIKE TO **** (FILL IN THE BLANK) ALL DAAAAAAAAAAY
^SEXDUCK
^THAT IS FREAKING GORGEOUS AND WOULD BE LOVELY IN MY PANTS. YES, SIRIUSLY. NO REGULUSLY SEX IT IN MY PLANTZ. RAINBOW IN MY MANPANTIES. COME *IN* OH AT WORKS TOO I GUESS MY PANTIES.
NERDS DON'T DO IT WELL IN JOHN 'SEX GODDESS' GREEN'S PANTS. THEY DO IT IN THE BACK SEAT OF MY FACE
WHAT COULD YOU DO WITH A POE BUST!?!?!? WHY YOU COULD PUT IT IN YOUR PANTS, YES YES PLZ. YES
NERDYSEXROUNDS (OR "NERDS") ARE FUN BECAUSE YOU CAN RIDE THEM FOR FREE. THEY MAKE ME "PUKE" IN MY PANTS. BUT THEY'RE B-O-X-X-Y. MORE THAN ENOUGH. AROUND THE CLOCK, WITH NOBODY ELSE, S-E-X-X-Y. COOKIE IN ONE HAND. WIG ON HER HEAD. I NEVER LISTEN TO THAT SONG BECAUSE JOHN FLANSBURGH BEING SEXUAL IS TERRIFYING TO THINK ABOUT. AND BECAUSE I'M AN ANTEATER
BUT I'M NOT FREE. I CHARGE, YO.I CHARGE PER SEXDUCK. ME TOO. SEX4WORDS. GIMME BOOK. (OR IF YOU'RE SCREWING THE COOKIE NOMSTER, GIMME COOKIE) OKAY.
WHAT'S A PIRATE MINUS THE HIPS THAT DO NOT LIE? JUST A CREATIVE GNOMELESS GUY. AND AN ANTEATER PLUS A LARGE HUNGRY MUTANT NUN? AN IRONIC WAY TO DIE. FUCK YOU I'M AN ANTEATER! LIKE ARTHUR? WAIT HE'S AN AARDVARK. SEX FOR WORDS JUST GOT PISSED
AND DON'T SEX THE DEWEY DECIMAL SYSTEM IS YOUR "FRIEND"! HAVING SEXDUCKS ISN'T HARD WHEN YOU'VE GOT YOUR LIBRARY MALLARD! JERKYLL JERKYLL HYDE JERKYLL HIDE HIDE JERKOFF
ZEFRANK SEXTHATTOO.
HOT SEX LIFE PHOTOPORNOGRAPHY.
I CAN'T SEX YOU CUZ YOU DON'T SPARKLE IN THE SUNLIGHT LIKE EDWARD CULLEN YOU CAN WEAR #MANLY MAKEUP AND ACT ALL COMPLEX AND #SEXDUCKSUAL
I AM NOT A PRONOGRAPHER BUT I AM A SEXGOD NEITHER IS JOHN WELL TO THE PORNOGRAPHER FART (IT WAS SIMPLY A FAAAART) NOT ARKA PAIN ONLY JOHN GREEN IS MOTHER EFFING SEXGODS. OH HELLZ TO THE YEAH!
I LIKE GRAPES (FOLLOW THE BUTTS!). BLACK, NATIONALIST RAPE IN MY PANTS.
WIMPY WIMPY WIMPY
HEFTY HEFTY HEFTY
MY HEART IS SHAPED LIKE HUGE LAURIE I WOULD WEAR IT ALL NIGHT LONG. WHERE MY HEART IS AT. I FREAKING SEX THAT MAN YOU HAVE NO IDEA. NO BUT I DO BECAUSE I AM HUGE "LAURIE", YOU ARE STARTING TO CREEP ME OUT.
I SWEAR I WOULD ALL THE TIME TYPE HUGH INSTEAD OF HUG OR HUGE IN MY PANTS I SEX THAT MAN SO FREAKIN MUCH. NO SERIOUSLY STOP
THIS ISN'T HOGWARTS. THIS IS A CONCRETE BOXXY! BUT REALLY ALL WE ARE IS JUST MONKEYS WITH #PIGFARTS (THAT'S ON MARS) BOXXY LIVES ON MALLARDS
POTHEAD NERDFIGHTER TWINS FTLtw
OVERLY SERIOUS TIMMY STOLE MY BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111
SEX MAKE ME PEE. SEX MAKE ME PEE. SEX MAKE ME PEE LIKE A NATURAL SEXWITHORANGES (DAMN, THAT SEXY JAZZA) #MAN. WOOOO #MAAAAAN.
(drunk) CAPS ALWAYS GET SOME ALL NIGHT LONG, BUT NEVER NUDE. #THREADLESS, NUDE NO MORE
I REALLY LIKE HOW HANK SAYS SPICED. I LIKE HOW RAOCOW SAYS SENTIENT. <---DEMO
FOUND A HEAAAAAAARRRRRRRT. <3 <3 <3 <3
MOST. ADORABLE. FRENCH CANADIAN. NOTUBE GUY. EVER. VERY MUCH JOHN GREENED. SO ADORABLER HE MELTS IN MY, MOUTH, NOT IN MY HANDS. I WANT TO HAVE LITTLE ADORABLE FRENCH CANADIAN YOUTUBE BABIES WITH HIM. I SAW A PICTURE OF HIM D: DON'T EVER SHOW ME
HE'S 6' FREAKIN 5. SO'S YOUR MOM. LIES DOWN ON THE FLOOR. 6'6.
how LONG can you SEX? CAN YOU SEX ON THE FLOOR?
down low.
#manly <--- WTF MINISKIRT? #UNMALLARDLY NOT JUST #neutral BUT #UNMANLY!
HOTPOCKET ON THE SWALLOW HURLEY FTW.
D:
HANK POOPED IN MY PANTS. GOOD! I AM WEARING A DIAPER!
SO ANYWAY, THIS SEXDUCK WAS WALTZING ALONG, SPOTTING THE CHICKEN WHO WAS CROSSING THE ROAD IN THE CORNER OF HIS EYE, WHEN HE STEPS IN A PUDDLE OF SEX. DUCKS CAN UNUSUALLY SWARM BUT THIS DUCK IS ONLY GOD AT DUCKSEX. SO THIS DUCK FARTS OUT AND STARTS KINKING. THEN HE HAS LOTS OF DUCKSEX WITH FEATHERS.
SEX.
XES.
She's a dead boy's MOM (AKA: MINISTRY OF MAGIC)! CARPS, WHERE ARE YOUR CARPS! I FORGOT TO TURN THEM BACK ON! ON ALWAYS ON. FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION.
FArkaIL
I WANNA SNOG ALAN RICKMAN. WHO IS THE YELLOW? (ARKA HATES YELLOW, AND THEREFORE HATES MORGAN. SHE CRIES HERSELF TO SEX) I WILL INFORM ALAN OF THIS AND BELIEVE YOU ME MICHAEL MOTHER EFFING GAMBON WILL BEAT YOU SENSELESS WITH A DISCO STICK. HE'S PRETTY SEXXCORE. HE'S BRINGING SEXYDUCKS.I DON'T KNOW WHAT COLOR I AM BECAUSE I SUCKDUCKS. SUCKDUCKS IS NOT THE NEW SEXDUCKS. SEXDUCKS IS THE NEW SEXDUCKS
THE MOST REPARKABLE THING ABOUT COMING HOME TO YOU IS THE FEELING OF SEXING IN MOTION CITY SOUNDTRACK AGAIN. IT'S THE MOST EXTRAORDINARY TOPPING ON THE WHOLE PIZZA.
I HAVE TWO BIG HANDS AND A HEART PUMPING "BLOOD" AND A 1967 COLT .45 (BABY THAT'S ALL WE NEED (GIRL YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE)) WITH THE MYTHBUSTED SAFETY CATCH. THE WORLD SHINES AS I CROSS THE BACON COUNTY LINE. GOING TO GEORGIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
THE MOST REMARKABLE THING ABOUT YOU SEXING IN THE DOORWAY IS THAT IT'S YOU AND THAT YOU'RE SEXING IN THE DOORWAY, AND YOU SMILE AS YOU PEAS THE GUN FROM MY HAND. I AM "FROZEN" WITH "JOY" RIGHT WHERE I STAND. THE WORLD THROWS ITS LIGHT UNDERNEATH YOUR BEARD. >9000 MILES FROM ATLANTA, THIS IS NOWHERE.
GOING TO GEORGIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
ALL I WANT TO DO IS SNOG. GET ME SOMEONE TO SNOG. PLEASE? :-*
ALL WE WANNA DO IS "MEAT" YOUR "GRAINS"
THE WONDERFUL THING ABOUT TIGGERS IS TIGGERS ARE WONDERFUL THINGS. THEIR TOPS ARE MADE OF BLUBBER, THEIR BOTTOMS ARE MADE UP OF FINS. THEY'RE BOUNCY, TROUNCY, SPROUNCY, FLOUNCY, FULL OF PUN PUN PUN! THE MOST WONDERFUL THING ABOUT MALLARDS IS THAT I'M THE ONLY ONE. IIIIIIIIIII'M THE ONLY SEXDUCK!
over 9000
HOW #MANLY LINES ARE THERE TOTAL?
151
sextweeters "coming" at you 7 days a week!
INTERNATIONAL!!!
ESTHERPAD
SEXDUCKS: A HISTORY
HI #MANLY MEN WHO LIKE TO SEX ME UP. CALL ME *WINK* (ME AS IN ORGY :P)
HEY SEXYONE
HAY HAY IS FOR HORSES LOLYYY.
EVERYTHING IS IN BLACK OR WHITE. CHOOSE. LIKE MICHAEL JACKSON HAD TO. (TOO SOON?) TOO SOON!
WHAT *GRABS HER SISTER'S CROTCH* THE HELL IS THIS? YOU EXPECT ME TO FLING ABOUT HER I DON'T CARE ABOUT HER! I'TS JUST A LITTLE SEX DRACO WAKE UP I'M BACON (HARRY POTTER'S FAVOURITE BEDOODOO) SHE IS THE HOTTEST GIRL I'VE EVER SEXED. HAHAHAHA. YEEES. GO GRAB THE CROTCH AGAIN!
HI. SEX ME UP DOWN AND ALL AROUND RIGHT NOW
YOU SPIN ME RIGHT ROUND BABY RIGHT ROUND WHEN YOU GO DOWN
YOU WANTED CAPS? SAY IT LOUDER.
HOW DO I SEX? YOU DON'T. FUCK
WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN
I'M CERTAIN JOHN GREEN HAS A SEX GOD OF A BROTHER TOO. I'LL IMAGINE YOUR MOM'S THINGS WITH COMPLEXITY IN YOUR PANTS. ALL NAPTIME LONG.
OMG WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SEXING? UR MUM IN MY PANTS.
69
HEY IT NEVER HAS TO BE IN MY PANTS YEAH.
OH YEAH, THE ONE FOOL IS SEX HAS TO BE IN MAH BELLY
I FORGOT HOW TO BE IN YOUR MOM'S PANTS.
TALK IN CAPS PEOPLE. NO UNCAPS. THOSE ARE #UNMANLY AND#TWILIGHTLY
I WILL TALK HOW I T
HOW DO YOU FEEL UP MOMS? WE COVET IT. WE GLOMP IT. A HELL YES AND SEXDUCKS IT UP
...SEX FOR WORDS. GIVE ME YOUR TWINKIE AND I GIVE YOU SEX. BUT YOU SHOULD ACCIO OREO DOUBLE STUFF PROSTITUTE. THEY'RE BETTER. I WILL SEX YOUR COOKIE BODY.
I'LL TITPIC UP THE "BUTTON" THAT YOU "UNBUTTONED" (MAH PANTS!) CAUSE YOU'RE HORNY IN A #MANLY WAY LIKE THAT TIME JOHN GREEN UNBUTTONED A BUTTON. WOAH. AND SAID DIRTY THINGS. BEST. POE BUST. EVER.
JOHN GREEN SHOULD UNBUTTON HIS PLANTS WHILE I BITE YOURS OFF NEXT. TOUCHATOUCHATOUCH ME!
SHE WANTS TO TOUCH ME, WHOAAA, SHE WANTS TO LOVE ME, WHOAAA, SHE'LL NEVER LEAVE ME, WHOAAA, WHOAAAAAAAA
DON'T TRUST A MONKEY WITH PANTS
I "CALLED" HIM ON THE "PHONE" AND HE SEXED HIMSELF.
I AM SEXDUCKS. QUACK. DON'T QUACK ON ME?
WOW. THIS IS GETTING VERY SEXDUCKSUAL IN YOUR SEXDUCKS. BUT I GUESS THAT MAKES NO SENSE SINCE WE ALL HAVE THE SEXDUCKS IN THE CROTCH.
NERDFIGHTERS ARE THE SEXIEST BREASTS IN MY PANTS. DECREASING WORLD SUCK BY INCREASING WORLD SEX!!!11! ONE PORNBOT AT A TIME!
JOHN GREEN IS A SEX DEMON. FACT. 20Q PAYS SO MUCH TO KNOW THIS! OR IT SHOULD! CUZ 20Q KNOWS WHERE YOU SLEEP!
YES IT'S "THE FIRE TRUCK" THAT I ONCE "HOT DOGGED" UR MUM AS THE KIND OF SEX WITH DUCKS, YES I'VE BEEN BUNNY AND I'VE BEEN SEXED AND THROUGH IT ALL, YES I HAVE SLEPT WITH THAT IT IS NOT WHETHER OR NOT YOU GET BUNGEE BUT HOW SLOW THE ICE CREAM GETS TURNED
BUT MY FIENDS, I'VE FOUND AN ANIMAL WHO DOESN'T FEEL THIS ARKA PAIN, AND MY LIFE IS SO MUCH BETTER NOW THAT I CAN FEEL ARKA UP THE SAME
^^
WTFFFFFFFF (<- THIS MUST BE PAARDVARKA) (LULS, WIN)
FORTYTWO
BLOODY SEX, GUYS. NOW I'LL NEVER SLEEP WITH YOUR MOM NOW SHE'S IMPREGNATED WITH SEXDUCKS IN HER PANTS.
BRAINZ, BRAINZ, THE MUSCULAR FRUIT. THE MORE YOU SEX THE MORE YOU BOOT. THE MORE YOU DROOL, THE BETTER YOU PEEL TOMATOES. LET'S HAVE BRAINZ FOR EVERY MEAL. BUT NOT EYES. NO NOMING THE EYES.
I DON'T THINK YOU SEX WHAT YOU THINK YOU SEXDUCKS BABY, BUT BABY DOUGHNUT YOU THINK THAT I JALAPEÑO (TILDE FTW) TILDE WTF? YOUR MANLINESS WHAT I KNOW MAYBE BABE. I DON'T THINK, YOU KNOW? WHAT DO YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW? I KNOW SEX I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW POOP IN THE BASKETBALL HOOP.
SO ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS THIS SEXDUCK WHO ALWAYS FELT LEFT OUT.. IT WAS A SEXY SEXDUCK. ONE DAY HESHEIT WOBBLED OUTSIDE, BUT IT STARTED BRAINING!
BRAINCEST, THE BEST KIND OF CEST. ALL WE WANT TO DO IS "EAT" YOUR BRAINS.
DID SOMEONE SEX DRACO MILFOY? (I DID!) *ROLLS ON FLOOR LIKE DRACO* PICK THEM UP! WE DON'T WASTE A BONER. (SERIOUSLY, I SAW THAT ON TFLN) SIRIUSLY?????
ANYWAY, THIS DUCK WAS SEXING ALONG, IN THE BRAIN, HIS FEATHERS GETTING ALL BUBBLEGUMMY, WHEN HE SAW, OUT OF THE CORNER OF HIS EYE, A SEX CHICKEN RIDING ON A BOAT, A MOTHEREFFING BOAT. THE DUCK PANICKED A LITTLE, BECAUSE, YOU SEE, HE WAS SCARED OF CHICKENSEX. AND THIS PARTICULAR CHICKEN HAD A #DUCKY DUCKSEXING NECKBEARD
HANK GREEN HAS THE SEXDUCKSIEST DUCKSEX AND LIKES TO PLAY SEX AND DUNGEONS WITH SEXY NERD BEARDS ALL THE SEXYTIME! TWSS
ALL MY POKEMON BRING ALL THE NERDS TO THE YARD, AND THEY'RE LIKE, YOU WANNA TRADE SEXUALMALLARDS, DAMN RIGHT, I WANNA TRADE SEXUALMALLARDS, I WILL TRADE YOU, BUT NOT MY CHARZARD (SO IT RHYMES). MAYBE MY BEST FRIEND MORGAN JOHNSON WILL LEND YOU HER "NOMSTERS". AND BY NOMSTERS I SEX PILLOWS. AND THE CARDS, WE'LL TOSS THEM AWAY IN FLAVOR OF SEXDUCKS.
THROW IN THAT PACK OF BAGEL TIGERS AND YOU GOT YOURSELF A HOWIE MAN-DEAL. I'M BALD
WHEN I'M ALONE I "QUOTE MYSELF". SLOWLY, SLOWLY, SLOWLY GETTING FASTER, IT IS SO EXCITING! I JUST CAN'T HIDE IT. I'M ABOUT TO LOSE SEXDUCKS AND I THINK I LIKE IT.
I LIKE TO **** (FILL IN THE BLANK) ALL DAAAAAAAAAAY
^SEXDUCK
^THAT IS FREAKING GORGEOUS AND WOULD BE LOVELY IN MY PANTS. YES, SIRIUSLY. NO REGULUSLY SEX IT IN MY PLANTZ. RAINBOW IN MY MANPANTIES. COME *IN* OH AT WORKS TOO I GUESS MY PANTIES.
NERDS DON'T DO IT WELL IN JOHN 'SEX GODDESS' GREEN'S PANTS. THEY DO IT IN THE BACK SEAT OF MY FACE
WHAT COULD YOU DO WITH A POE BUST!?!?!? WHY YOU COULD PUT IT IN YOUR PANTS, YES YES PLZ. YES
NERDYSEXROUNDS (OR "NERDS") ARE FUN BECAUSE YOU CAN RIDE THEM FOR FREE. THEY MAKE ME "PUKE" IN MY PANTS. BUT THEY'RE B-O-X-X-Y. MORE THAN ENOUGH. AROUND THE CLOCK, WITH NOBODY ELSE, S-E-X-X-Y. COOKIE IN ONE HAND. WIG ON HER HEAD. I NEVER LISTEN TO THAT SONG BECAUSE JOHN FLANSBURGH BEING SEXUAL IS TERRIFYING TO THINK ABOUT. AND BECAUSE I'M AN ANTEATER
BUT I'M NOT FREE. I CHARGE, YO.I CHARGE PER SEXDUCK. ME TOO. SEX4WORDS. GIMME BOOK. (OR IF YOU'RE SCREWING THE COOKIE NOMSTER, GIMME COOKIE) OKAY.
WHAT'S A PIRATE MINUS THE HIPS THAT DO NOT LIE? JUST A CREATIVE GNOMELESS GUY. AND AN ANTEATER PLUS A LARGE HUNGRY MUTANT NUN? AN IRONIC WAY TO DIE. FUCK YOU I'M AN ANTEATER! LIKE ARTHUR? WAIT HE'S AN AARDVARK. SEX FOR WORDS JUST GOT PISSED
AND DON'T SEX THE DEWEY DECIMAL SYSTEM IS YOUR "FRIEND"! HAVING SEXDUCKS ISN'T HARD WHEN YOU'VE GOT YOUR LIBRARY MALLARD! JERKYLL JERKYLL HYDE JERKYLL HIDE HIDE JERKOFF
ZEFRANK SEXTHATTOO.
HOT SEX LIFE PHOTOPORNOGRAPHY.
I CAN'T SEX YOU CUZ YOU DON'T SPARKLE IN THE SUNLIGHT LIKE EDWARD CULLEN YOU CAN WEAR #MANLY MAKEUP AND ACT ALL COMPLEX AND #SEXDUCKSUAL
I AM NOT A PRONOGRAPHER BUT I AM A SEXGOD NEITHER IS JOHN WELL TO THE PORNOGRAPHER FART (IT WAS SIMPLY A FAAAART) NOT ARKA PAIN ONLY JOHN GREEN IS MOTHER EFFING SEXGODS. OH HELLZ TO THE YEAH!
I LIKE GRAPES (FOLLOW THE BUTTS!). BLACK, NATIONALIST RAPE IN MY PANTS.
WIMPY WIMPY WIMPY
HEFTY HEFTY HEFTY
MY HEART IS SHAPED LIKE HUGE LAURIE I WOULD WEAR IT ALL NIGHT LONG. WHERE MY HEART IS AT. I FREAKING SEX THAT MAN YOU HAVE NO IDEA. NO BUT I DO BECAUSE I AM HUGE "LAURIE", YOU ARE STARTING TO CREEP ME OUT.
I SWEAR I WOULD ALL THE TIME TYPE HUGH INSTEAD OF HUG OR HUGE IN MY PANTS I SEX THAT MAN SO FREAKIN MUCH. NO SERIOUSLY STOP
THIS ISN'T HOGWARTS. THIS IS A CONCRETE BOXXY! BUT REALLY ALL WE ARE IS JUST MONKEYS WITH #PIGFARTS (THAT'S ON MARS) BOXXY LIVES ON MALLARDS
POTHEAD NERDFIGHTER TWINS FTLtw
OVERLY SERIOUS TIMMY STOLE MY BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111
SEX MAKE ME PEE. SEX MAKE ME PEE. SEX MAKE ME PEE LIKE A NATURAL SEXWITHORANGES (DAMN, THAT SEXY JAZZA) #MAN. WOOOO #MAAAAAN.
(drunk) CAPS ALWAYS GET SOME ALL NIGHT LONG, BUT NEVER NUDE. #THREADLESS, NUDE NO MORE
I REALLY LIKE HOW HANK SAYS SPICED. I LIKE HOW RAOCOW SAYS SENTIENT. <---DEMO
FOUND A HEAAAAAAARRRRRRRT. <3 <3 <3 <3
MOST. ADORABLE. FRENCH CANADIAN. NOTUBE GUY. EVER. VERY MUCH JOHN GREENED. SO ADORABLER HE MELTS IN MY, MOUTH, NOT IN MY HANDS. I WANT TO HAVE LITTLE ADORABLE FRENCH CANADIAN YOUTUBE BABIES WITH HIM. I SAW A PICTURE OF HIM D: DON'T EVER SHOW ME
HE'S 6' FREAKIN 5. SO'S YOUR MOM. LIES DOWN ON THE FLOOR. 6'6.
how LONG can you SEX? CAN YOU SEX ON THE FLOOR?
down low.
#manly <--- WTF MINISKIRT? #UNMALLARDLY NOT JUST #neutral BUT #UNMANLY!
HOTPOCKET ON THE SWALLOW HURLEY FTW.
D:
HANK POOPED IN MY PANTS. GOOD! I AM WEARING A DIAPER!
SO ANYWAY, THIS SEXDUCK WAS WALTZING ALONG, SPOTTING THE CHICKEN WHO WAS CROSSING THE ROAD IN THE CORNER OF HIS EYE, WHEN HE STEPS IN A PUDDLE OF SEX. DUCKS CAN UNUSUALLY SWARM BUT THIS DUCK IS ONLY GOD AT DUCKSEX. SO THIS DUCK FARTS OUT AND STARTS KINKING. THEN HE HAS LOTS OF DUCKSEX WITH FEATHERS.
SEX.
XES.
She's a dead boy's MOM (AKA: MINISTRY OF MAGIC)! CARPS, WHERE ARE YOUR CARPS! I FORGOT TO TURN THEM BACK ON! ON ALWAYS ON. FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION.
FArkaIL
I WANNA SNOG ALAN RICKMAN. WHO IS THE YELLOW? (ARKA HATES YELLOW, AND THEREFORE HATES MORGAN. SHE CRIES HERSELF TO SEX) I WILL INFORM ALAN OF THIS AND BELIEVE YOU ME MICHAEL MOTHER EFFING GAMBON WILL BEAT YOU SENSELESS WITH A DISCO STICK. HE'S PRETTY SEXXCORE. HE'S BRINGING SEXYDUCKS.I DON'T KNOW WHAT COLOR I AM BECAUSE I SUCKDUCKS. SUCKDUCKS IS NOT THE NEW SEXDUCKS. SEXDUCKS IS THE NEW SEXDUCKS
THE MOST REPARKABLE THING ABOUT COMING HOME TO YOU IS THE FEELING OF SEXING IN MOTION CITY SOUNDTRACK AGAIN. IT'S THE MOST EXTRAORDINARY TOPPING ON THE WHOLE PIZZA.
I HAVE TWO BIG HANDS AND A HEART PUMPING "BLOOD" AND A 1967 COLT .45 (BABY THAT'S ALL WE NEED (GIRL YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE)) WITH THE MYTHBUSTED SAFETY CATCH. THE WORLD SHINES AS I CROSS THE BACON COUNTY LINE. GOING TO GEORGIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
THE MOST REMARKABLE THING ABOUT YOU SEXING IN THE DOORWAY IS THAT IT'S YOU AND THAT YOU'RE SEXING IN THE DOORWAY, AND YOU SMILE AS YOU PEAS THE GUN FROM MY HAND. I AM "FROZEN" WITH "JOY" RIGHT WHERE I STAND. THE WORLD THROWS ITS LIGHT UNDERNEATH YOUR BEARD. >9000 MILES FROM ATLANTA, THIS IS NOWHERE.
GOING TO GEORGIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
ALL I WANT TO DO IS SNOG. GET ME SOMEONE TO SNOG. PLEASE? :-*
ALL WE WANNA DO IS "MEAT" YOUR "GRAINS"
THE WONDERFUL THING ABOUT TIGGERS IS TIGGERS ARE WONDERFUL THINGS. THEIR TOPS ARE MADE OF BLUBBER, THEIR BOTTOMS ARE MADE UP OF FINS. THEY'RE BOUNCY, TROUNCY, SPROUNCY, FLOUNCY, FULL OF PUN PUN PUN! THE MOST WONDERFUL THING ABOUT MALLARDS IS THAT I'M THE ONLY ONE. IIIIIIIIIII'M THE ONLY SEXDUCK!
over 9000
HOW #MANLY LINES ARE THERE TOTAL?
151
sextweeters "coming" at you 7 days a week!
INTERNATIONAL!!!
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